Busty Nollywood actress Foluke Daramola, who got married to Kayode
Salako, a businessman cum activist, earlier this year, talked to Punch
Spice about their 5-month old marriage.
Salako told of how he was sure the actress was the right choice for him,
adding that he consulted about 65 pastors to make sure.
Read excerpts of the interview below.
How did you meet?
Kayode: I met her officially on February 13, 2012. I run Change
Agents of Nigeria Network, and Fasholamania Movement. They are nonprofit
organisations and I am also a proprietor of a group of schools in Lagos. I
needed a popular face to help develop the initiative of one of my organisations
and a friend suggested Foluke. We were introduced to each other. Foluke is also
an activist and she became a stakeholder in the organisation. She accepted to
be the national publicity secretary and we worked together. Along the line, we
discovered we had so many things in common and the chemistry of attraction
started building.
Foluke: Before I met him, I was a single mother and was already
planning to relocate to Canada because I had secured a scholarship to run my
post graduate programme. A friend introduced me to him and I saw he had a lot
of laudable ideas. I have always been an activist and I felt we could work as a
team.
But did you know he was married at that time?
Foluke: Yes, and I remember I was introduced to his wife at the
initial stage of working together. We were friends until he started talking
about the problems he had with his first marriage. I didn’t know he had issues
with his marriage but he is quite an emotional person and as a friend, he told
me his experience. I understood the wife left him on her own volition and I
knew he made attempts to resolve the problem. At a point, he told me to step
out of the picture because he needed to sort out the problems in his marriage.
Later, he called again and said we needed to move on.
Were there oppositions from both families?
Foluke: Initially, my mother was against it but after her
spiritual convictions, she allowed us.
Kayode: A lot has been said about Foluke and I; but I must state
that my first wife packed out of our home on her own volition. When I was
getting serious with Foluke, I told everyone in my family to go all out and
make inquiries if she is my destined wife or not. In fact, I consulted about 65
pastors before I made up my mind on her.
So how did you propose to her?
Kayode: I didn’t propose to her but the only one I made to her was
on February 15, 2013 when we got married. She has everything I want in a woman.
Foluke: He wanted to propose to me on my birthday and give me an
engagement ring but he changed his mind and decided having a quiet engagement.
We got married on February 15, 2013.
Were you not sceptical about marrying an actress?
Kayode: Before I met her, I never fancied any Nigerian
actress. I had known some of them through my organisations and I had nothing
to do with any of them. But when I met Foluke, she proved me wrong! She is very
reasonable, mentally upright, focused and an ambitious woman. She is godly and
she has a deep knowledge of God’s word. In fact, she can recite over 25 psalm
chapters off hand! She is not materialistic; she is a very good cook, homely
and washes my underwear. We share a lot of things in common among which is the
spirit of activism. Its fun being with her and till date, we still live as
friends.
What about the children from previous marriages?
Kayode: We have five children. I have adopted her two kids and
mine are three. She loves children and sometimes, I get jealous about how she
dots on the kids.
Foluke: I was in my first marriage for almost five years and I was
single for another five years. Over the years, I have been accustomed to my
children and built my world around them. Then, I made up my mind that I would
have relationships but no marriage. When I met him, I knew I needed to detach
myself from the kids and create time to build my home. I have started that and
it’s working. My kids, especially my daughter, love Kayode dearly.
How was transiting from divorce to remarriage like for you?
Foluke: First, I will say divorce in Africa is a horrible
experience. I recoiled into my shell because there was rejection, mockery and
you didn’t know who was saying what. So, I built a wall around myself and I
have come to realise that when you are in a marriage, which you want to keep,
you don’t keep friends. I don’t have close friends now.
Kayode: It was difficult after my first marriage because I was
scared. What if this one turns like the first one? Wouldn’t I be embarrassed
again? Marrying Foluke was not in the agenda because we were just friends and
working together. It was difficult to accept but after praying, we were
convinced about each other.
Don’t you get jealous when she mixes with her colleagues and fans?
Kayode: From the outset, I knew she is an actress. I am proud to
be associated with her but I don’t get jealous. I am mentally mature to handle
that aspect of her life. I love her dearly but I don’t want to gag her because
she would not make it in her career if I do. Sometime ago, we went to an event
and a man saw her, ran to her and gave her a full-mouth kiss! We were all shocked
because the man came from nowhere! Not even her husband could kiss her publicly
like that but I waved it off. I know my wife and trust her. No rich man can buy
her with money because she believes in love. I know a lot of men who were on
her neck even before we started a relationship but she prefers me. People
cannot understand our love and they are waiting to read our divorce on the
pages of newspapers. They said our marriage cannot go beyond six months. They
will wait forever because there will never be a divorce (Foluke nods).
What do you do when alone?
Foluke: We talk about everything. There is nothing I don’t tell my
husband. When the lady who introduced us to each other started a media war and
said all sorts about me, I was not embarrassed because Kayode knew everything
about me. I can leave my phone with him without fears. To me, true joy is
having someone who loves you.
Kayode: We talk about everything. Foluke is an open book- no
secrets.
If you talk this way, why do celebrity marriages fail?
Kayode: This marriage will work because we have made up our minds
to make it work. Most celebrity marriages fail when the man does not allow his
wife have inputs. When he starts to behave like an emperor or allows insecurity
and inferiority complex to set in. We have decided to create fun within
marriage.
Foluke: I don’t think celebrities fail in their marriages. We are
human and have challenges like other couples. In fact, we go the extra mile to
make our marriages work. Most female celebrities do the unusual and make their
men feel special. We just need men who are confident. When we were about
getting married, my father-in-law and some of his siblings were sceptical. I
made everybody realise that acting is a profession, which I happen to find
myself and I am going to be a good wife.
Whenever there is a disagreement, who apologises first?
I was in a marriage before, so making amends when there is a wrong, poses
no problem for me. Most of the time, I say, I’m sorry. Fortunately, he does not
suffer from inferiority complex.
What are the secrets of a successful union?
Kayode: Maintain that channel of communication. Secondly,
understand each other and be friends. Moreover, a man should learn to overlook
things especially if you are married to a celebrity. If you attach meanings to
every issue, marriage will head for the rocks. Even when you want to scold her,
let it be in the confines of your bedroom. Let the man be mentally mature too
and be confident. A man should not allow his wife do all the work and share her
money. She is not your slave.
Foluke: Don’t stop doing those things that attracted him to
you. He loves my legs and I wear short skirts at home for him. Also, men should
pay their wives compliments.
Are there pet names?
Foluke: I call him Ade mi (my crown) and Ayinde. He calls me Folu,
when he is angry.
Kayode: I call her Ibadi Aran.
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